Archive | February 2014

Damaged & Redeem

A hurtful word-FAT

No one to play with-GO AWAY

A punch in the guy-PRETTY BUT FAT (AKA UGLY)

A call to spend time-YES, BUT YOU NEVER INIATE

A broken time together-s

Tears on the inside a smile on the outside

Burnt dirt so nothing can grow

A hope a small seed, crushed as four crushes passes me by

Nothing to grow by black disappointment

A small glimmer of hope to run with

Inside full of doubt, fear, unworthiness

A small dark tree am I surrounded by darkness

Gloomy is my outlook

Not significant is my fertilizer

Performance my water

His hands reached down to my dirt

Cultivating the land, taking His time to get the dirt healthy once more

Plucking the tree up, making sure to get all the bad roots.

You turn the dirt over and over until ready

A new tree He planted-BEAUTIFUL


He calls the darkness away He bring in the Light


Words of LOVE


He speaks into me, I grow stronger under His tender care

Another tree He plants besides me, with roots connecting




We start merging as one

Meanwhile the Hands clips my branches (ouch!) Takes some leaves off (ouch~~)

I grow strong and beautiful under His care

He beams with pure delight said It’s time

He begins again to merged us together

He said I’m a good Gardner, and watched over us!



In the Father Alone

I have my degree in History. My favorite historical period that I love to study is the Tudors (A royal line of Henry VII-Elizabeth I). Since I know the history almost inside and out I have the hardest time watching movies, plays that surrounds the Tudors because I will point out the untrue part. One day as I flipping channels I came across the show The Tudors and I had landed at the part when Katherine of Aragon was walking on gravel barefooted to go into the church and bow down before the cross because Henry had wanted to divorce her. This struck me as true humbleness. Katherine was a devout Catholic and this special scene could be something I could see her doing. Why am I talking about this humble scene? Katherine knew where her help could come from, the Lord. She didn’t run to the statue of Mary she went straight to the source God himself.

How many times when we face a difficult situation that we turn everywhere but God? Does this show what, and where our belief lies in?  Yes we can get wise counsel but that counsel can turn into Job friends. Yes we can run to books and read how to get over a guy who broke your heart. None of this compares to going to our Father (God) who is the mighty wise counselor, who knows all, who knows you, and is the best person to go to. Our Father will not judge us on the mistakes, confusion, etc. He loves us in the place we are in struggles and all. Nowhere in the bible does it say that we have to have it all together before coming to God. Have you ever read about a person in the bible who had it all together when they went to God? Even the disciples struggled with unbelief and doubts about Jesus. People say well if God cares He doesn’t give more than what we can bear. Wait show me where in the bible it says that it says He doesn’t give us more than what we can bear. I know people uses 1 Corinthians 10: 13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. Key word is tempted beyond bear; not that God will not give you beyond what you bear, but not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.

Jesus said that in this life we will have trouble (John 16:33) but that is why he said in Matthew 11:28 Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Jesus said come to me, he didn’t say run to your best friend, run to your momma, He said Come to me because I can and will give you rest in your weariness, in your trouble, in your broken heart. A couple of years ago I was at a former student and friend wedding. The pastor sent this commission to the bridesmaids, groomsmen, and family “when they have trouble with each other and they will, they will come to you, don’t give them advice, point them to God first and send them back to their spouse.” We must do the same; send the person back to God.

My boyfriend recently almost a month ago broke up with me and no I don’t like it but God allowed it. I am still working through the heart/hurt break. One day on my emotional rollercoaster I wanted some raw earthy answers. I wanted to hear that it was okay to block his number and delete from my phone, I wanted to hear that it was okay to defriend but God was telling me not to do these things. I wanted to, I didn’t want to talk with my cousin because I knew she would point me back to God, and I wanted the raw answers. I went to mom because she doesn’t like seeing me in pain. I was asking her about what I wanted to do and she said these dreadful words. “What did God tell you? What did God promise you? Did you go to God?” I didn’t want to hear that at all. I knew she was right. I knew that I needed to go to God with this. I needed to find my hope and peace in Him alone. I’m really on a journey to have Jesus as the center of my life, to be complete in Him, to be secured in Him alone. But I can’t do that if I am running all over the place to other people, books, to find the answer that will heal my heart quickly. The only way I can do this is to go to God and God alone.

This life is hard, but that is why for us God sent His Holy Spirit to live in us to remind us who we can go to.  When Katherine of Aragon went to that church and laid herself before the cross she knew that the only person who could save this marriage of hers was God so she went humbly to him. When I want the raw answers of why did my ex-boyfriend break up with me and hurt my heart, I need to go God and He is correcting things in me that was brought up through this relationship. When you lose your job and don’t know how to cope, go to God. When your spouse announce that he/she is leaving and you feel broken go to God.

I haven’t mentioned these things but; God is our Comforter, He is our Healer, He is our Redeemer, He is our shoulder that we can cry on and still praise. He knows what we are going through and His arms are wide open for us to run into. He is not going to chase us around with arms wide open (just picture that image). He will wait for you to come to Him. The longer you deny going to God the more bitter, angrier, hurtful you become. God is the only one who can meet you where you are and bring you the place you need to be. Do not be afraid of God He cares for every aspect of your life and not just about the church. Every aspect of your life!

Tips to run to God

  1. Surround yourself with people who will point you to God, not tell you what to do but encourages you to go to God.
  2. Instead of reading the bible sit and be quiet before the Lord and say Lord I want to hear from you.
  3. Cry out at God (He can take it!) and then praise Him
  4. Pick a spot that you feel comfortable to go to God (church prayer room, your bedroom, the bathroom).

Prayer: God you are close to the broken hearts, close to those who are under a heavy burden/load, close to those who say your name. You are the great I am, and I need your help with what I am going through. Speak to me for I am ready to listen to you. Thank you that you are my comforter the one that I turn too. In Jesus Name Amen.