Songs of Solomon 3:3-4a
The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. Have you seen the one my hearts loves? Scarcely had I passed them….
I have a confession to make, until I was about 23 or 24ish I was boy crazy. I love looking a men and taking a “picture.” I also have another confession to make; I have been hurt by not so good guys. One of my last confessions I need to make is that I’m guilty of meeting any cute guy I was attracted too and asking are you the one?
Single sisters we are all or most of guilty of this are we not. In a time where things move so fast but not our love lives we tend to get impatient. Almost like the Shulamite woman here. She is out looking for her love that is her mission, it is her goal. She wants to find him so badly. As she is out looking she runs into these watchmen.
I have always been puzzled who are the watchmen? I always assumed that they were guards because later in the book we see them again in a not so nice picture. As I’ve been going back to this scripture for the last 6 months, I finally realized who the watchmen are. Here is a disclaimer not all scripture is black and white and like this is it meaning its done, but there are other scriptures that have like 100 different meanings because God is diverse and He will use it to speak to you in a different way aka a different interpretation. With that said this is what God revealed to me about the watchmen.
A watchman is a person or an emotion that you get so wrapped up in that it takes away from what God is doing in your love life, and or takes you away from God. Let’s first talk about physical men. The physical watchmen are the ones who will pursue me (us) before and sometimes after a godly man appears in our (my) life, who will either hurt us or turn us away from God or both. They are the ones who are already are there to plot heartache, doubt, fear, in our lives. At times they are out to hurt you (me) and sometimes not on purpose. Because we women are emotional we get so wrapped up in them that we are not listening to God, friends, family when they say there is something wrong or you need to let go. When we do we are hurt by the relationship, or they just plain hurt us by cheating, lying, tearing you away from God; you know the usual suspects.
This may also be a surprise it may not be physical men, it can be virtual men, aka men you may or may not meet on dating sites. I believe when a person get desperate enough and a person is on a dating site, it hurts us because it’s like this, I don’t get any hits, why no one is talking to me, oh God that guy is perfect for me. Our emotions can tend to get so wrap up in the dating site and thus becomes a watchman.
Then when we have men who were are interested in you or have a crush we ask are you the one my heart loves. Knowing deep down, knowing that God is saying no to this match or knowing that the guy is not interested in you like that, remember God is our matchmaker, yet we barely get away from them.
In the next verse she says Scarcely had I passed them, meaning she barely passed them up. Another meaning that she was close to hurting herself because of these watchmen, to allow them in her life, into her heart to see if they were the ones that her heart love. I’ve been there. I have allowed two watchmen in my life that in truth really should not have been in my life. I did things just to see if they were the one (fortunately they were not). I needed them in my life just to prove that I can be loved, wanted and needed yes I have used dating sites to do that as well.
There is a danger here when we begin to feel that desperation to have our love in our lives now. As we (me) are aging each year and another year pass without that love, we ask ourselves am I really worth it. Why isn’t there a Christian man pursuing me now, because I need it now. When we (I) get trap into that thought process we (I) allow these watchmen into our lives and they have no business being there at all. At times we barely get away before our hearts are entangled with them. This is also true when you have a crush on a guy. We (I) can be so wrapped up into that fantasy that we don’t either see one he’s not into you or two that he’s not good for you and both one and two.
Here’s a bit of my story, in college I had a serious crush on a guy, I was like he’s the one (but he wasn’t), I use to fantasize how he would asked me out, etc it came close to an obsession. God needed me to pull out and see that he was not good for me and that we would be on different paths. How does he do it sends me to a conference where one woman who had the same thing going on and God delivered her from it, as I knew He would do for me. I barely passed this watchman. Another was one of my boyfriends who I do call not my first love but my first lust. I did things with him that should have been only be for my future (or soon to be) husband, also we had this be together and break up thing going on. As well he was a cheater even in high school, he would cheat on me and then with another girlfriend with me as being the second woman. I was so entangled that I could not see that he was not the one for me. I barely got away from him, God gave me the strength to let go of him. I could go on with more examples from my life. Here’s the thing I learned; when I turn to God with my feelings about any guy (I like or really want him to pursue me), He will make it clear on which direction to go (which is usually wait, let it go, or not now).
It’s been a life lesson for me to take my feelings about a guy to God. In the process I see the changes in my life where men are concerned, I now know the difference between my flesh voice and God’s voice. I now know the difference of a good godly man vs. a pretender. I now know what to do when I have a crush on a guy; I go to God and my accountability friends and not let my heart be entangled.
When you feel like you don’t deserve a good man or feel like your time is running out, look at Sarah, look at Hannah, look at Ruth, and look at Elizabeth; women whose time had “passed” in the world eyes but not in God eyes. See just in the right time He brought their hearts desire to completion rather if it was for marriage or for children God did it, as He has done it for these women He will do for you too. Also if you want some live women who’ve gone through this stuff message me I can tell you stories about their lives.
All in all be careful with your heart guard it, beware of the watchmen in your life (if you need to let go, let them go), and give to God all things.
Next post how will I know this is the one my heart loves? Good question! I will hope to explain in my next post as we continue in Songs of Solomon.